As reported today, troubled former Oregon quarterback Jeremiah Masoli is now eligible to be a nuisance for the Ole Miss Rebels. Masoli may have stolen from a fraternity house and cited for weed possession during his time in the tolerant Pacific Northwest, but Ole Miss coach Houston Nutt insists that’ll change. Because apparently he’s “in the people-helping business.” Are you a social worker, Houston?

Nonetheless, Nutt has to be on to something. Because not only will Masoli have to contend with people like this in the beautiful south, he’ll be on the straight and narrow with his master’s program… in Parks and Recreation Management!

This dynamic program just had to prepare Masoli to be a shining example of an American leader. I just had to investigate…

  • This is a growth industry, but he’ll be facing “keen competition” as well as a couple priors for that position as Student Activities Officer.
  • He’ll be taking such rigorous courses as “Leisure Programming for Senior Adults” and “Advanced Independent Study”.
  • He may earn credit for programming events such as a Double Decker Car Show or the Sardis Lake Fishing Rodeo should he not opt for writing a thesis. Alternately, “Collegiate Intramural Sports and the Economic Impact of Publicly Funded Research Universities” will  become a popularly-cited paper on Google Scholar.
  • The department boasts all of three faculty members. Their department head’s areas of interest are as diverse as “aquatics safety”, “water safety”, “economic impact of leisure”, and “fantasy sports markets”. This last point is prevalent in his research that concluded fantasy sports boost math scores.

Additionally, the Alpha Xi chapter of the Rho Phi Lambda honors fraternity will be keeping a close eye on its possessions.

Obviously you couldn’t expect Masoli to choose a graduate program that would actually look halfway impressive. But to appeal to the NCAA on grounds that this coursework is unique compared to Oregon is laughable. What university couldn’t offer something comparable? I’m sure South Harmon Institute of Technology made the U.S. News list for top programs in this subject.

Happy long weekend. Here’s something to celebrate the spirit of academia.


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